Appreciating where I've been and uncertainty about the future...

So, along with my diagnosis of pneumonia came three rib fractures.

Why?

Uncertainty?

Wondering about running....heck, wondering about even walking!

Pain.

Trying to stay hopeful, undergoing tests to find out why.  Thinking about not being able to run, shifting my goals, downsizing...reality.

Thinking about all the wonderful places running has taken me that I would have never gone.  Hood River, Oregon.  Big Sur.  Chasing the sunrise from Julian to the desert.  Back country of San Diego.  The PCT.  Appreciation and sadness.

Stay hopeful.

Sometimes you have to let go of the dream...or do you...

So...pneumonia...broken ribs...enlarged heart...back issues...I thought I was pretty healthy.  I thought my dream was achievable...a little crazy, but achievable.   I wanted to be one of those 70-year-old ladies out there running their little legs off...not sure if that will happen.

I wanted to run 30, 50, 100 miles.  I wanted to experience all the craziness of hallucinations and fatigue and pushing yourself farther than you ever thought possible.

But sometimes you have to let go...

Sometimes your body may be trying to tell you...hey, I've lived 55 years on this planet.  I'm tired.  I'm worn out, things are breaking.  We are fragile, us crazy humans.

At this point walking a mile is an accomplishment.  But....at least I can still do that.

But I can still dream...dream of running up a mountain, jumping over a stream, gazing out across the cloud covered mountains...in my dreams I can run as far, as fast, as high as anyone else.  In my dreams....I will always be a runner. 

In sickness and in health...

We humans are fragile creatures.  We can feel strong and invincible one minute and weak and struggling the next.

That is me right now...weak and struggling.

About three weeks ago I came down with one of the worst respiratory illnesses I have ever had.  It started with a cough, chills, fever, shortness of breath.  It was misery.  Needless to say, it derailed my plans.  At the time I was training for a 50K, which I had hoped would be my first ultra.

Now I'm struggling to do a mile at a very slow speed.  I've never been very fast, always a back of the packer, but now...well, let's just say I'm starting over again.  I'm hoping to be able to do a half marathon I signed up for in October.

This will be my journey back...on the road to good health again, on the road to being able to run at a turtle's pace again.  I'm still not over my illness, it still has a grip on me, but I'm fighting.

Day one...

The journey back...road to recovery

We take so much for granted...the ability to run, to get outside, to do all the activities we normally do in a day...our health.  This bout of pneumonia for me has been a definite wake-up call to appreciate everything.  I can only hope that I can recover from this and get back to where I was.

Meanwhile...I am suffering.  Along with the coughing, shortness of breath, fatigue, I seem to have injured some ribs.  This is almost worse than the pneumonia.  Certain movements cause excruciating pain, like someone is stabbing me in the side.  It's not pleasant.

But today I got on the treadmill and did an Ifit workout.  Not a hard one, of course, but walking along the beach in a beautiful setting with an inspiring trainer.  I hope this is my road to recovery.

It's hard to believe that a month ago I had my sights on 31 miles...now I'm grateful for just one mile.

One mile at a time...attitude of gratitude...each step leads to another.

Relentless forward progress....

Today was my first official "eating well" day.  I've been running for a while now and never seemed to be able to lose weight.  Well, the reason for that is simple...I ATE JUNK.

So today is my first day of eating better.  I know the best thing for me personally is not to have junk in the house.  Easier said than done, but I'm working on it. 

So far today I have had an egg, a banana, a good salad with protein for lunch.  I'm planning on having a chicken bowl for dinner.   The hardest time for me is always the afternoon...the long span between lunch and dinner, which is also the time I exercise, so I have to have the proper nutrition to get me through that time of day.  A good protein snack will do the trick.

One.day.at.a.time.  I CAN DO THIS! 

#eatinghealthy, #eatingforlife, #runnerdiet, #getthin

Sometimes you feel all.alone...

Sometimes in your journey you are all alone.

Other people have the support, encouragement, etc., while you have...nothing.

Nothing but doubts...fear....anxiety.

So you have to take charge.  You have to be your own cheering section.

You have stop looking for the encouragement that is NOT coming.

Nutrition plan:

• Lots of veggies
• vitamins, iron, etc.
• No dairy
• Low cholesterol
• Low fat
• lots of protein
• no hunger

Instead of "let's do this", it's I WILL DO THIS....ME...MYSELF.

More to running than running...

There's more to running than running.

I've always known that, but in the shuffle of life, getting just a run in is hard...just running.

But...if you want to be a better runner, you need to develop more of your body than your legs.

So, in the spirit of that, my new conquest is to develop my strength training, my diet, along with my running.

Today I did:

• squats
• box jump - or my version of it, needs work.
• dumbbell power clean
• lunges - forward and backward
• planks
• superman

I have a long way to go, but it's a start!